Are you worried your texts to your crush are boring? Stop right there.
The good news is we can fix this and fast if you’re willing.
Step One: Correct Your Mindset
First things first, let’s get one thing straight.
You are not boring. You are creative, funny, and sexy. Remember who you are.
If you don’t recognize your amazing qualities in yourself, how can your crush get to know them? If you are starting to question if your messages are interesting, you have entered into overthinking territory. This is not a fun place to be.
Overthinking just leads to worry and rumination. Refuse it! Those days are done.
A worried mindset will only contribute to stale, personality devoid messages. This is not you.
You are an interesting person. Don’t question it.
Men love a confident partner. If you don’t feel confident right now, it’s totally okay.
It’s true what they say about faking it until you make it.
Step Two: Develop the Friendship
In any healthy, long term relationship, there has to be an element of friendship. Of course, physical attraction is another important element too, but it cannot be the only thing.
We crave kindness, trust, loyalty, and encouragement from our partners. Don’t get caught up trying to be so clever you forget about these essentials.
If you find yourself freezing up and wondering what to say in a text, practice this simple technique. What would I say to my best friend? Would I send this?
Does this seem scary? It shouldn’t be.
What’s the worst that can happen? If he doesn’t like your openness or efforts to get to know him, then it’s best for things to end here.
You can’t be in a successful relationship pretending to be somebody you’re not.
If you are worried about letting someone in, you’re not alone.
It’s important to guard our hearts. Especially if you have been through heartbreak before, you understand how vulnerable you are in a relationship.
However, this vulnerability is beautiful. You are opening your heart.
Don’t be afraid! If you can be comfortable to be the real you, then he will be encouraged to be real also.
Step Three: Understanding Men
Everyone has their own texting or communication style. Many men aren’t super into texting. Some prefer phone calls or FaceTime.
Many guys also prefer to really delve into deep conversation in person. If his texting seems pretty light, don’t automatically jump to “he doesn’t like me back!”
Texts aren’t everything. They are simply a tool.
When it comes to getting to know a crush, allow a guy to show you who he is. If you are always trying to come up with messages and ideas, then it may be more difficult to read his energy.
Let him come up with some ideas and show his creativity. Trust me, if he likes you, he’s already making plans in his head! Where can I take her out?
Please, don’t try to force or rush things. You will seem desperate, and your energy will be frantic.
We already know that’s not true. Give it some time.
Don’t wait by the phone. In time, your man will reveal himself.
This early getting-to-know-each-other phase is really special. Enjoy it, because if you and your crush are meant to be then the timing will be perfect.
Remember, be natural and be kind. A solid foundation is built on understanding, acceptance, and kindness.
Believe it or not that all starts here in these short, sometimes light-hearted conversations.
Step Four: Strategies to Spice It Up!
Sometimes we all need a little help starting the conversation, especially if you are both on the shy side. We’re lucky because we live in a day and age that we have so many options.
Let’s get creative. If you’re trying mix it up here are a few ideas:
1. A song is a great way to say a lot without saying anything at all. Just be sure to check out the lyrics before hitting send. If there’s anything that seems like it could be taken the wrong way, just avoid it. Play things safe, especially if you’re just getting to know them.
2. A gif is a funny, friendly opener or response in a conversation. Again, sometimes you can communicate more with fewer words. It helps when just getting to know somebody to choose gifs from popular references. Remember, the idea is to have fun, not to choose something obscure that might confuse him.
3. Let emojis do the talking. As a simple hello in the morning, why not send a simple sun? You could also send the bouquet of flowers. Only choose ideas that feel right to you. 4. Feeling bold? If you are getting great energy from your guy, consider sending him a link to an event or place you want to go. This strategy is best used once a rapport is established.
These ideas speak confidence and can help the conversation flow if things start to drag.
Bottom Line: You are not a character.
If a guy tells you that you’re boring or makes you feel boring even though you know you’re not, we need to evaluate. Is he expecting you to be his entertainment?
You are not a character in a movie or a TV show. You’re not a podcast.
You’re a woman with good looks, personality, and goals opening her heart up to love. If this doesn’t sit well with him, then honestly he has shown you his true colors, and it’s time to move forward.
You clearly value your crush’s opinions and find him interesting. Well, you need a man that makes you feel interesting and valued too.
When it comes down to it, don’t overvalue text messages. Look at his actions.
Is he reaching out to you? Is he making plans? How does he make you feel?
Now look at your actions. Are you communicating kindness?
Giving him appropriate space? Being open and authentic?
These are the questions to ask yourself instead of questioning the entertainment value of your messages. You sending any message at all should be enough sign for him.