I’m in love with my best friend but he doesn’t feel the same

It’s true, the greatest love stories of all time begin with two best friends who end up as lovers. It’s platonic, yet sexy; you’re his best friend and his lover. And you know that he’s never going to hurt you because your relationship is based on a solid foundation of friendship and trust. 


You truly believe that your love story would be the type of stories that you’d write songs about and make movies on…but, it’s not. In fact, he doesn’t feel the same way about you.


The reality is, you’re stuck in a love story where it’s only you who is in love. And not only that, but you could also end up losing your best friend because it’s awkward to be in the same room with them anymore!


What would you do if you were in love with your best friend but he doesn’t feel the same way?


1- Accept The Ugly Truth


The first step to recovery is to accept the hard reality. News flash: Your best friend is not going to come in the middle of the night, throw pebbles at your window and declare his love at the top of his lungs.


You would’ve known by this time if he felt the same way about you. He’s not going to realize that he loves you back and that he was only afraid of losing you. You’re deluding yourself if you think that he’s going to wake up and have a change of heart.

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2- Distance Yourself For A While


You will never get over someone if you’re with them all the time. So, try to distance yourself for a while.


This doesn’t mean that you have to lose your best friend; your friendship still has a chance at redemption if you want it to. Give your friendship time to recover so you don’t end up losing both your best friend and your lover.


Give yourself room to breathe and the space to heal. Things can go back to semi-normal after a while!


3- Process Your Feelings


Processing your feelings means that you accept your feelings of pain and rejection; it means that you don’t have to bottle up these feelings and deny their existence altogether. 


And remember that getting over someone isn’t linear; it’s a rollercoaster. Some days you will feel good and other days you will feel bad.


Some days you wouldn’t want to get out of bed and stop eating Doritos. Other days, you might wear that red lipstick and have a girls gone wild kind of night! 


4- Create A Healthy Outlet


A huge part of moving forward depends on creating a healthy outlet for those negative feelings. 


What do you like doing? What makes you feel good?


What makes you feel good


Do you like running? Dedicate a time in your day to go running and move your body. It’s a sure way to release all those bad hormones and feelings from your body!


Do you like singing? Call your friends and go to that Karaoke club you’ve been wanting to go to. Sing your heart out! 

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5- Love Yourself First


Love starts from within; it starts from you. Take the time to take care of yourself; fall in love with yourself again and again!


Take a long bubble bath, exfoliate your body and feed your skin with a vanilla moisturizer. Put that mask you’ve been saving up for a special occasion. Create your own self-care rituals and find whatever makes you feel good. 


And always remember that lighting a candle and taking a bubble bath is not going to magically solve your issues. However, it will make you feel good about yourself and create that momentum! 


6- Clean Your Closet


This is not a metaphor! Yes, you have to clean your closet in order to move on. Give away the clothes that you don’t wear anymore. Throw away those worn-out jeans and donate the shirts that don’t fit you. 


Moreover, this doesn’t only include your closet, it includes your surroundings. If you’re living in a mess, your life is going to be a mess too. Therapy starts from cleaning your outside, so your inside would have a real chance.


7- Don’t Guilt Trip Them


Your best friend did you a huge favor by saying “no” to you. Now you have a real chance at finding someone who really wants to be with you!


Don’t ever think about guilt-tripping them into being with you; you don’t want someone to be with you because they pity you, do you?


You deserve to be with someone who isn’t hesitant about you and who doesn’t have to think twice about being with you!

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8- Don’t Do Rebounds


You’re not going to get over this person by jumping from one guy to the other. Getting over someone requires you to be by yourself for a while.


Allow yourself to heal properly without getting someone else in the mix. It’s not fair to you or to the other guy! Don’t hurt others just because you’re hurting.


Don’t do something that you might regret for the rest of your life! Plus, you’re only going to delay your healing process and it might stop you from actually finding someone who really cares for you.


9- Give Yourself Some Credit


Give Yourself Some Credit

Pat yourself in the back for being honest with your feelings. You could’ve never known that this person doesn’t love you back if you never admitted your feelings to them. 


Imagine a different scenario, imagine never telling that person that you love them and never know if they love you or don’t. Imagine having to live with “what ifs”; what if I told them I loved them and they loved me back?


At least, now you really know and you don’t have to live with regret. So stop blaming yourself!


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