My Boyfriend Doesn’T Make Me A Priority. What Can I Do?

Almost every girl finds herself in a relationship where the boyfriend doesn’t put her first. Then, we go completely crazy (or creative) in coming up with scenarios so he would make us his number one.


It begins with taking the perfect selfie, cooking his meals, running his errands, pretending to be a damsel in distress, and ends with faking an accident- Yes, we’ve shamelessly done that before. 


But, no matter what you did, he doesn’t seem to make you a priority. A boys’ night out will always seem more important than hanging out with you. No matter how hard you try, his video game will always have his undivided attention. 


In this article, we will guide you through the steps of making yourself a priority in your boyfriend’s life. And NO, it doesn’t include faking a trip to Mexico while you’re sipping mimosas from the comfort of your own home. 


1- Define Your Meaning of Priority


This step is an essential one…what does “priority” mean to the both of you? For instance, don’t expect him to answer your call in the middle of the night when he is sleeping, and get mad at him if he doesn’t wake up. Also, don’t expect him to leave work just because you said you were hungry. 


However, you should expect him not to flake out on you while you are on a date. You should also expect him to be there on your birthday and other special occasions. 

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Know what matters to you; know what makes you believe him when he says “you’re my number one”. Know when you’re asking for too much and know when it’s what someone is supposed to do when they are in a committed relationship. 


2- Have A Talk With Him


Have a talk with your boyfriend, and let him know exactly how you feel. However, you have to do this at the right time and right space. 


Don’t have this talk while you’re hanging out with other people. And don’t have this talk if he just got back from work, or you feel like he is already stressed out by something else.


When you do have the talk, make sure you’re expressing yourself calmly and try to refrain from accusing him and from being aggressive. 


Bonus tip: Your boyfriend is more likely to be responsive if you refrain from using the word “you” and instead use the word “I”. For instance, it’s better to say “it doesn’t feel good when I’m alone on a Saturday night”, instead of saying “you made me feel lonely on Saturday”.  


3- Make Yourself A Priority


Make Yourself A Priority


When you put yourself first, the magic starts to happen. When you make yourself a priority, you show the entire world that you’re someone who knows what they are worth. You can do that by following these steps:


  • Say NO: Say no if your boyfriend has been leaving you hanging and decides last minute that he wants to come over. Say no when his plans were canceled so he gave you a call instead. Show him that you’re not a second option, show him that you have a full life and he is lucky to be a part of it. Don’t be the doormat who cancels out her plans just to be with him or the girl who waits for him to decide.

  • Don’t keep forgiving him: Don’t reassure him or make him think it’s okay when he flakes out on you. Don’t keep forgiving him If he keeps on canceling the dates last minute, or if he is always late in answering your texts. Let him know that you are a strong woman who doesn’t accept this flaky kind of behavior.

  • Don’t be always available: If he thinks you have nothing better to do than wait for him, he’s never going to know you’re worth and he will take you for granted. Have a life of your own that has nothing to do with him; nurture your hobbies and work on your goals. 


3- Revisit The Subject 


You already had the talk with him and you gave him time to adjust. If you still don’t see any changes from your last talk, then it’s time to evaluate the status of your relationship. 


If he didn’t make any tiny change this means that your feelings are invalidated. If he thinks of you as a priority then he will do his best to change, especially after you told him that you’re unhappy about this and that. 


We are not saying that your boyfriend doesn’t love you, we’re saying that he might be taking you for granted. 


4- Make A Decision


At this point, it’s up to you if you want to keep on giving him chances for redemption. No one can decide but you if this guy is worth it or not. When deciding, ask yourself the following questions:


Make A Decision


  • Do you want to be in a relationship where you don’t feel like a priority?
  • Are your needs being met in this relationship? Are you satisfied?
  • How often do you feel lonely in this relationship?
  • Do you feel like it’s YOU who is making all the effort?
  • Do you feel like if you stop working on the relationship then it’s going to end?
  • Do you think you deserve more of this relationship?
  • Do you feel like you are taken for granted?
  • Why am I in a relationship with someone who makes me feel sad most of the time?


If your answer was “yes” to the majority of these questions, it’s time to reconsider why you’re still a part of this relationship. Being in love shouldn’t feel lonely, and it shouldn’t feel that the effort is one-sided.


You have to keep one thing in mind: You are worthy of love; you are worthy of undivided attention and for someone to make you feel like a queen. If someone is not making you feel loved, then why are you still with them?

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