As women – we take notice of the attention our partners give us. Emotionally, we strive to have our husbands fulfill our needs. A husband should be our friend, confidant, and protector. He should strive to give his wife the intimacy she craves through mind and soul.
Wives know when their husbands take pleasure in their bodies. The inability of a husband to keep his hands off his wife speaks volumes in a relationship. The attention given to the curves of a wife’s hips, the swell of her breasts, the valley of her thighs – everything is noticed. A wife knows when she pleases her husband.
So, what happens when the husband’s pleasure begins to sway?
He talks about women’s bodies but still reaches for mine….
The remarks your husband makes are all in passing.
The waitress has a trim waist. The next-door neighbor is busty. The executive he works with has toned legs.
Could it be that he is making observations and comparing the bodies of these women to you?
If your husband is still making moves on you while commenting on other women, how does it affect you? Do you catch yourself trying to measure your waistline, your cup size, the width of your thighs? If so – it might be a good idea to talk to him.
Sit down with your husband and ask if he realizes he is making these comments. These words may be simply slipping from his lips – he might need to control his impulse. But if you want to get to the bottom of this – ask him something tough.
Does he want you to work on your own body?
Is he still attracted to you?
This conversation will be difficult, awkward – completely out of another field. But it is one you need to have with him. If his words are affecting you, he needs to know. A good husband will be sorry that his words have adjusted your self-esteem.
And if he tells you, the wife, what it is he wants from you – be open to listening.
If the conversation floor is open, then it is time for you to air out some of your own opinions on your husband.
The two of you could work out together. You could work on your glutes while he works on his arms.
After all, the two of you have dedicated your lives to one another. If he wants to see something on your body change, then there is a chance you want to see something about your husband change, too.
And if he has a problem with that then he now knows what it feels like to be physically criticized and compared to someone else.
He talks about women’s bodies…and no longer reaches for mine
These remarks about other women are troubling.
As mentioned above, your husband talks about other women and their bodies. He openly salivates over a trainer’s bottom. He talks about a celebrity’s chest at length. He mentions how pretty your sister is.
And yet, he rarely compliments you, his wife.
And when you try to initiate sex, your husband turns away from you.
So, what gives?
It would be easy to believe that your husband could be cheating on you.
After all, he is taking notice of other women and their bodies. That behavior breeds numerous red flags. And if that is the case, consider what else he might be doing.
Is your husband coming home late? Are there unexplained purchases on his card? Is he making excuses to leave the house?
Has your husband’s routine changed in a certain way?
Say, for instance, he used to leave the house at 7:30 for work but now he’s out by 6? Does he find ways to leave at night for stops at the store or to see a friend? Are his weekends eaten up by shifts at work or surprise visits to his friends?
When he comes home after a long day, does your husband immediately run for a shower and throw his clothes in the wash – when before, he would take his time and leave you to do the laundry?
The comments about other women were only the beginning of his odd behavior. Sit down, meditate on the things that have piled up in terms of change. Sometimes, these changes are just a part of life. People’s flow and routines can adjust in the wake of work or new hobbies.
Other times, these shifts are deliberate. And if your husband has taken to seeking out other women, it is only right that he owns up to it. You deserve honesty – even when it hurts.
He talks about women’s bodies; you talk about men’s bodies…
If your husband’s commentary on other women bothers you, ask how it started. Did he feel comfortable enough to say these things because you had introduced your thoughts?
Has your monologue about Chris Evan’s shoulders run over a minute long? Have your remarks on the principal’s hair happened more than once?
Maybe your husband thought it was open season to talk about other women in return.
This is not anybody’s fault or an excuse to start an argument – it’s just life. Anyone capable of seeing would be able to recognize when someone was attractive. And instead of keeping those introspective thoughts to yourselves, you’ve decided to share.
Nothing wrong with that – but if your husband’s words bother you, it’s okay to talk about it.
In return, he may tell you it makes him uncomfortable anytime you wax poetic about another man.
Whatever the case may be, for the sake of your well-being must talk to your partner. If his words tear you down – he needs to know. What he decides to do in response will tell you all you need to know.
If your husband respects your insight, you can work towards repairing the fractures.
If he disregards you, cheats on you, and belittles you…
Then it might be time for you to focus on your own body, heart, and soul.
And get far away from a toxic husband who doesn’t understand the gift he’s got in you.