Imagine that you’re at work, it’s the end of the day and you still haven’t received a text back from your boyfriend.
It makes you sick to the stomach that everyone seems to be checking up on their girlfriends and asking them how their day is going, yet, your man doesn’t seem to care.
Your mind starts making up scenarios “is he hurt? Is he seeing somebody else? Is he mad about something? When did this start happening?”
However, this doesn’t seem to justify his actions, because if he cares slightly about you, he should text back or at least check up on you.
Who doesn’t want a boyfriend who makes sure you’re okay, and who double-checks if you drank enough water today? Who doesn’t want a boyfriend who tells you they love you and would do anything for you?
Who doesn’t want a boyfriend who sings Taylor Swift songs with you?
Who doesn’t want a boyfriend who cares?
So what should you do if you feel like your boyfriend doesn’t care about you? In this article, we will guide you through step by step.
1- Evaluate The Situation
Okay, before we jump to conclusions and put the guy on the top of our blacklist, let’s think about this for a minute. Has he always been this way? Or is this only recent?
If this is recent, talk to him and get to the bottom of this. Is there something stressing him out? Maybe it’s family, school, or work? Is it because you had a fight and maybe he feels like you invalidated his feelings?
Or was it honestly this way since forever and you’re just starting to notice it? If that’s the case then maybe you need to decide if you want to stay in an unfulfilling relationship.
You deserve to be with someone who cares about you! You deserve to be with someone who would love you the way you want to be loved.
2- Look For Signs
We know who you are; we know that when it comes down to your friends, you give the greatest relationship advice. However, when it comes down to you, it’s like you practically become blind to the warning signs and could never read the situation.
If you are unsure about your relationship status, and if you feel like sometimes he cares and sometimes he doesn’t then maybe you should try to look for signs that could help you decide.
Watch out for signs like the following:
- It’s you who is always initiating.
- It’s you who is always calling and texting.
- It’s you who moves around her schedule to adjust into his.
- It’s you who has to say no to her friend because he called last minute.
- It’s you who is always apologizing even if it is his fault.
- It’s you who is making all the sacrifices and all the compromises just to keep the relationship going.
- It’s you who is doing all the chasing, and he is not doing any effort at all.
- If you stop trying, the relationship will end in a heartbeat.
- He makes you feel needy or clingy when asking for his attention.
- He is not interested in knowing how your day went.
3- Time For A Test
If you’re still unsure of his feelings at this point, you can put him under a test. The first test is for you to change something about your appearance.
You can change your hair or paint your nails- please don’t dye your hair pink just to make him pass the test. Do you think he will notice the difference? If he doesn’t, that’s your red flag waving!
The second test– which is the deal-breaker- do NOT send that first text and do NOT call him. Are you ready to see how many days shall pass by without him contacting you?
The third test is a little bit dramatic- we do love our drama- but it will show you his true colors. Make up a story to make him jealous; it could be a mystery gift from a secret admirer or a guy who is crushing on you.
If he is not slightly jealous or if he seems completely nonchalant, dump this guy.
We know how painful this can be, but remember that today’s pain is tomorrow’s gain. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t even care about you?
Because if someone cares about you, they would never let the day end without them checking up on you. If they care about you, they would notice all your details and lose their minds when someone is trying to approach you.
4- Face The Music
Deciding if you want to let go has got to be difficult. As humans, we are programmed to be attached to things and people; we yearn to belong to someone.
However, after noticing the big fat red flags and after failing these tests, it’s time for you to face the music.
- Talk to him: Let him know that what he is doing is not okay; let him know that you’re hurting. To be completely fair, some guys don’t know what it’s like to love and be loved. Maybe they grew up in an unloving household, and maybe they were hurt. However, if you talk to him and he still hasn’t changed or even made the effort to change, it’s time to evaluate the situation.
- Make a decision: No one is forcing you to stay in a relationship where you feel undervalued and uncared for. It’s up to you to stay in that relationship, or leave and give yourself a genuine chance of love.
- Love yourself: This is the most cliche thing ever said, but we keep repeating it because it’s true. Never expect anyone to care about you when you don’t even care about yourself. Love yourself and treat yourself with respect. Move your body and feed your soul.