What to say to your boyfriend when he’s stressed

Stress can cause a lot of differences in someone’s behavior. Considering the past year that has been riddled with the coronavirus pandemic, stress levels in people have been at all-time highs and people are taking notice of this and doing a lot of self-care towards themselves so that they can feel less overwhelmed and stressed out.


One of the hardest things to ever go through is to have your boyfriend stressed out and not knowing what to do to help. It is important to understand that different people react to stress differently and your boyfriend might not seem like the person that you fell in love with, but keep in mind that you are in love with him as a person, regardless of whether he’s having a bad day or not.


Read along as we share tips on what to say to your boyfriend when he’s stressed.



Back then my initial reaction to seeing somebody stressed out is getting annoyed because everybody is going through something and stress just doesn’t single out one person to attack. I’ve since realized that this is the wrong way to deal with stress, especially if it is concerning your boyfriend.


It’s so easy to tell your boyfriend to snap out of it and be normal but that is not the case. When someone is stressed out, it’s easier for him to calm down and not talk to anybody about what’s causing his stress. Without knowing the main source of the problem, it will be hard to help somebody.

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The easiest way to open up the conversation with your boyfriend is simply asking “Are you okay?”. These three words will help him open up to you.


If your boyfriend is not the talkative type and does not do well in sharing what he feels, you can translate this into actions and affections like hugging him and letting him know that you will be by his side no matter what happens.


Asking this simple question will enable your boyfriend to open up the doors if he needs help, especially if he’s the type of person who will never ask for help anyways. Asking if somebody is okay is a great opening to have that person try and open up to you especially if it’s a sensitive topic that might be hard to talk about.


  • “I’m here for you”


Most men are intimidated and scared of sharing how they feel because of the social stigma that makes them less masculine. Thankfully, more and more people are embracing mental health and normalizing it which makes it easier for women and men to share their experiences with stress. 


If your boyfriend won’t open up to you about what causes his stress, simply saying “I’m here for you” will instantly make him feel better. If he’s not ready to open up right now, he will when the right time comes and you will be right there to listen to him.


Saying this phrase also conveys the message that you are not judgmental towards what he is going through which might be a sensitive issue because he doesn’t want to open up. It’s also important to not lose your patience with him when he’s going through this process. Try to exercise your patience if your boyfriend takes a little more time to open up.

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  • “We will get through this together”


We will get through this together


Saying this means that you will be by your boyfriend’s side no matter what happens and no matter what he is going through. It is easier to go through stress with somebody who understands and helps you navigate this process. This phrase will solidify your togetherness as a couple and encourages him that he will not go through this alone. 


  • “Let’s take a self-care day together”


The best way to destress is to remove yourself from the situation and have a change of scenery. Plan a fun beach day or a day in the park.


Outdoor fresh air will surely help relieve his stress and make him forget at least momentarily about what he’s stressed out about. It’s so helpful to unplug and recharge even if it’s just a few hours every day.


You can take him out and do something adventurous that you haven’t done before. This will bring you closer together and forge a bond like no other. 

  • “I understand what you are going through”


Everybody has been in stress mode at one point in their life, and it is not easy to go through alone. Saying this will relay to your boyfriend that you understand what he is going through and that you will help him navigate through this hard time.


Regardless of what’s stressing him as a small thing or a big issue, this also reassures him that you are not undermining his feelings. Different things and situations cause different reactions in people and it depends on how your outlook is and how you take it. 

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You may not understand why he is going through something but you surely understand that he is going through something challenging and that you will be beside him every step of the way. 

  • “I love you no matter what”


I love you no matter what


Stress can make someone’s behavior and attitude change and this is probably the most challenging thing that you will see if your boyfriend is stressed out. He might be short-tempered and impatient with you and don’t take it personally.



Stressed out people often lash out to the people around them the most and try to be understanding of this. Make sure that you understand that he is not mad at you, but he is frustrated with himself or the situation that he is in which is causing him to stress out.


Saying that you love him no matter what tells him that you will love him regardless of how he’s acting right now. Love is not perfect and you have to learn to love him as a person not just when he’s having a good day. Love means loving someone regardless if they’re having a bad day or stressed out.

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