You’re with this guy and you feel like he’s drawn to you like a moth to a flame. He looks at you like you’re the most beautiful thing that talks and walks.
And then, he makes you feel like he’s pity talking to you, and that he can’t wait for the conversation to be over because you’re so annoying.
Nothing can be more frustrating than a guy who’s playing it hot and cold. It’s confusing because you don’t know how to react: Should you be cold when he’s being cold? Should you instantly switch to hot when he’s acting hot? Should you stay lukewarm at all times?
It’s confusing because you don’t know for certain if this guy likes you, or if you like him so much that you’re blind to the reality that he doesn’t like you at all?
What should you do when a guy is hot and cold towards you?
Reasons Behind His Hot ‘N’ Cold Behavior
The first thing you have to figure out is why he is acting this way. Knowing the reasons behind his behavior can help you decide the next step you need to take.
1- He likes you but he’s playing it cool
Relax, he might be so into you but he wants to keep his cool around you. He doesn’t want to take his mask off just yet; he wants to make sure you like him the same amount he likes you.
You can tell he’s playing it cool if you send him a text but it takes him some time to reply; however, you feel like his replies are wholesome and he’s trying to keep the conversation alive. If he tries to cut the conversation short, then he might not be into you.
2- It’s all a game and you’re just a toy
Don’t exclude this option just because you really like this guy and you want this to work. Truth is, some guys are born to be players and they’re not going to change anytime soon.
You might be good for his ego if he can tell that you like him and if you come back every time after he acts cold. It makes him feel like he’s a winner and that he can get any girl he puts his eyes on. It’s all a game to him!
You can easily tell if a guy is a player by seeing how he acts around other girls, or by the number of his female followers on Instagram.
3- He’s not sure how he feels about you
He might be a good guy but he’s still not completely sure that he likes you. Maybe he just came out of a relationship and he’s not over the other girl; he likes you but still has feelings for the other girl. It confuses him and it’s showing in his hot and cold behavior.
Some days he feels like you could be the real deal, and other days he feels like he’s not over the other girl.
If you want to know about his dating history, you can ask him one way or another. However, if you feel like you’re still not in a phase where you can ask him bluntly, then you can ask around or check his social media for old posts or tagged photos.
4- He’s insecure and doesn’t know how to approach you
Let’s not exclude insecure guys out of the equation. This guy might be into you but doesn’t know how to approach you the right way. He might have been rejected before so he’s a little insecure about how to move forward.
Or maybe he thinks that you’re way out of his league so he doesn’t know how to do this.
How to Respond to The Hot ‘N’ Cold
1- Knowing when it’s worth it
This greatly depends on the reason behind his behavior. For instance, it’s not worth it to pursue this relationship if the guy is a player. It’s his game and he will always win. Cut your losses and leave!
However, it might be worth it if you feel like he really likes you but he’s insecure because he’s been rejected before. When he starts feeling comfortable around you, magical things will happen.
If the guy is worth it and you feel like this could turn into something good, you might want to give it some time.
2- Mimicking his behavior
If he can be hot and cold, so can you! When he turns hot, turn that heat up baby! When he switches to the cold mode, show him that you’re made of ice. When you stop acting “hot” all the time, it’s going to confuse him and think “I’d better do something before I lose her”.
If he believes for one second that you have nothing better to do than deal with his mood swings and be there regardless of his behavior, he’s going to take you for granted.
3- Living your best life
Show him that your life doesn’t revolve around him. Show him that you’re not a thermostat that will go up when he’s up, and go down when he’s down.
You’re a strong independent woman and his behavior doesn’t make or break your day! You’re living your life to the fullest and he happens to be an addition. If he wants to be a part of your life, he’s more than welcome. But if he doesn’t, you won’t lose a wink of sleep!
4- Knowing when to move on
When is this behavior going to end? When is the game coming to an end? How long are you willing to wait for this guy to come around?
Regardless of his reasons and his intentions, are you willing to waste all this time and energy on this guy?
You have to know when it’s time to move on.