Why Doesn’t My Boyfriend Call Me?

Do you ever call your boyfriend, whether for an emergency or to ask what he wants from the grocery store, and he just doesn’t pick up? Have you ever waited on a phone call because you miss him only to be kept waiting because he was doing something else?


A whole lot of girls have been there! Here we’ll discuss some chief reasons why your boyfriend might not be the instigator on phone calls between you two, and how you can address that to make your relationship stronger!


He’s busy at work.


He’s busy at work


This could be a no-brainer, but consider it! Even if you think he’s got the kind of job where he’ll have time to be on his phone, he might have a strict supervisor or boss that keeps him busy his whole shift.


It’s important to ask him whether he’ll be available to call you when he’s at work, maybe on a break or when he’s not busy. If he says he can’t, respect that too! Some jobs, like a government position, simply won’t let you bring your phone to work at all. It sucks but it’s just part of having a partner where you both have jobs in this modern day!

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He’s wrapped up in a hobby.


Think about how tunnel vision you can get when you engage in a beloved hobby. Whether that’s reading, working out, baking, or any number of other things, it’s easy to get so immersed in it that you forget the entire world outside exists.


The same goes for him, too! Plenty of guys can get so wrapped up in a painting or a video game that they’ll ignore their phone, their friends, everything. It’s not personal! 


But for any long-term relationship, that’s something important to work out. If you want him to be available when he has some downtime, you should let him know!


Ask if he can call you at a certain time on his day off; have him set an alarm if he’s forgetful. It may seem like a little thing, but remember you’re absolutely entitled to ask him to call you or make plans with you. 


He genuinely didn’t even think to call you.


Boys can be pretty clueless sometimes! Your guy, especially if your relationship is fairly new, might not be used to calling you to talk or make plans.


Some boys don’t use their phones for much more than the bare minimum. He also might have never had a relationship where his girlfriend liked to do regular phone calls. 


Ask clearly and directly for what you want.


If he doesn’t call you for any reason, whether it’s listed above or not, you can take the responsibility to communicate that you’d like him to call you more often. Like we said above, he might just not be used to that and might not even have thought of it!

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Simply saying “hey, I’d appreciate if you’d give me a phone call so many times a week, it would make me happy and I think it would help us feel closer” works great! If he cares and he’s committed to your relationship, he’ll absolutely take what you said into account and change his behavior.


If he acts dismissively, communicate again it’s important to you, but at that point it’s a bit out of your hands and beyond telling him it’s hurtful he won’t listen, you can’t change his behavior directly—but that’s a topic for another article entirely. 


Have the two of you work out a schedule where he calls you at a certain time or a certain day.


Just like the title says! Work around both of your work, school, or other conflicts to find a time where you can talk once a day, or once a week, or however often you both choose.


Ask him to call you if you want that, or trade off who calls who. Do you both wake up early and have some free time?


Call in the morning! Do you both go to bed late and want to say “goodnight” before bed?


Call at a certain time of night! This can go for lunch breaks, gaps between classes, or any number of other things. If you want to make time for each other, you’ll find it, even if it’s only fifteen minutes at noon once a week (for example). 


Call him too!


Many boys would love a spontaneous phone call! Call when you know he’s free to tell him you love him, or call when you know he’s busy and leave a sweet voicemail.

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Call him too


If your boyfriend doesn’t really like surprises, ask if you can call him sometime just to say hello and figure out his availability. If you only want to leave voicemails, there are numbers you can call that will put you straight to someone’s voicemail, where you can leave a cute message, poem, or riddle for him to see later. 


Talking it out is the best way to ensure your boyfriend will give you a phone call when you want him to. Some guys are just busy or not thinking about that kind of thing! But a good, consistent calling schedule will bring you both together and strengthen your relationship for years to come.

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